Relationships can be very difficult sometimes because of many factors, but of course this depends on each couple and the circumstances at the moment. It is even more complicated when we are talking about a long distance relationship which is the issue on this article.
Usually, the first that comes in our minds when we mention something about a long distance relationship is how hard this must be for both its members and that most of the times these relationships don’t work out so well and don’t have a future.
We surely agree it is very hard and painful emotionally, it is difficult to manage and keep the relationship alive with the distance and the problems that it causes. But, we shouldn’t decide about this without thinking seriously all the parameters. It is unquestionable that it won’t be easy, everything becomes very complicated because of the distance and you are going to feel sad, depressed and very lonely from time to time. But, you should also take into consideration the fact that distance may strengthen your emotions and can make the simplest and smallest things about the relationship and the other person matter much more than before (a touch, his smell, the way he looks when he sleeps, eating together, his laugh, etc.)
There are many obstacles and things can change. Remember you are being separated by kilometers, cities, countries or even continents. But, If you have found a person you believe is right for you and deserves it, with will power and effort from both sides you have very good potentials and it is surely possible to achieve in keeping this relationship alive. It is not impossible to maintain in this relationship and keep your feelings strong.
Next in the article you can learn about the ways you can use to make your long distance relationship work. If it finally survives be sure it will only grow stronger, so try to pay attention on the following points and do your best!
How to keep strong a long distance relationship – 6 Basic tips
1.Start with the “right” communication
One of the most serious issues about a long distance relationship is of course communication. Keep in mind that many couples have communication problems even without the distance, so your partner and you should be very careful about this. When you live in other cities, countries or continents, it is difficult to have the contact you desire and to be always available so this demands effort and of course will power. Fortunately, technology and its advancements has been a great help and nowadays gives us the opportunity to stay always tuned with the people we love and communicate as often as we like with no extra charging (via internet).
It is recommended for you and your beloved one to know each other’s schedules and the routine he follows so that you won’t interrupt something important and of course there is always the case when we have a different time zone, so knowing the program the other member usually follows we can come in contact when he is available without causing trouble and ruining the atmosphere.
Try to always start your day with a “good morning” and always say “goodnight” before going to bed. It is something like a must and makes you feel close. Use good applications for your communication, try to have video calls when it is doable because visual contact is very important, send photos, letters, emails, or even deliver gifts from time to time and of course there is always text messaging. Generally, try to have a regular but creative contact and be careful not to fall into the mistake of excessive communication. You may believe it is for the best but it will exhaust both of you and won’t have the desirable results. Try to keep your behalf updated about what is happening in your life and your family or friend’ s and act like he is there too. Don’t forget anniversaries, birthday, etc.
Also, a good way of feeling close to your partner that can make you feel like you are a “normal” couple, is to try to do things together even if you are not. For example, online games, activities on the same time with video call, watching the same movie or tv program on the same time, etc.
Finally, because of the lack of physical contact and the absence of sex (sexual tension is very important for each couple) sometimes it might be good to sparkle things up by sending him a provocative photo or a sexy message, or share a phone call with dirty talk, etc. It will keep the tense alive even in a long distance relationship.
2.Visits and time together
Depending on the type of distance, some couples is possible to meet more often than others and some couples unfortunately meet once in a month or even 2-3 periods in a year. The most desirable and exciting about a long distance relationship are the visits so try to schedule meetings as frequent as possible and of course separate the times each of you makes the trip. The visits for these couples is the understood and common thing for every other, so it is very important to make time matter when you are together. Try to reclaim each moment you are with your partner, prepare romantic nights, schedule activities you both enjoy, keep alive the physical attraction and surprise him in bed, etc. Try to make unforgettable the days or even hours you are together. It is suggested to make surprises when you can and visit him when it is unexpected. Be careful it is not about checking him but it is a way to sparkle up things and be spontaneous, show you care and keep the relationship alive. Finally, each time you are together before you get apart gift him something personal sprinkled with your perfume so that he can feel you there, close to him until the next time you get together.
3.Be sincere with your feelings, goals and expectations
The first thing that must be clear in a long distance relationship is how both members feel about this, which are the feelings for each other, what expectations your partner and you have and which are the goals and the intentions for the future. Both of you must be clear about having an exclusive relationship, be devoted and must avoid things that could cause problems. If you can’t promise that you should talk with your partner and suggest a free relationship if he accepts this. You should talk about future and see professional and personal plans and goals your partner has. If you are not on the same page you should know it before getting into this. And of course it is good to know how long this will keep because as much us you try you couldn’t have a long distance relationship for ever.
4.Consider the benefits of the distance
To make a long distance relationship achieve and keep yourself away from depression or misery, it is good to consider the positive aspect and think about the benefits you may have. First of all, the distance is a way and an opportunity to test your relationship, your partner’ s feelings and even your own. You should think that in this way if the bond you share is real the time apart won’t separate you but instead it will only bring you closer and if this experiment survives then nothing could destroy what you have. Moreover, a long distance relationship gives you the advantage of not losing your personal time and space, not losing your friends and family something that usually relationships do. You could enjoy your friends and having a social life, you could do many activities you like and no one will complain about leaving him abandoned. And something that only girls will understand, when you have a long distance relationship you are free to be relaxed as far as physical appearance in concerned. What does this mean? We don’t say to stop care about your appearance but you won’t have to be every day like a “doll” from heads to toe and you have the time to prepare yourself for every meeting with your partner. You have the benefit of wearing your loose pajamas or wearing your glasses instead of lenses without feeling undesirable.
5.Learn to trust and be honest
A long distance relationship is the biggest test for trust and honesty. The feelings you may have because of your partners absence, such us insecurity, jealousy, fear, etc, are completely understood but they exist even if you are always together with your behalf. Try to control these feelings and learn to trust your partner because if you get paranoid with this you will only make the relationship more difficult and both of you will get tired of the situation. Also, you should me honest and sincere about yourself with your partner and try not to provoke the same feelings to him. It’s difficult for both of you to deal with all these issues but learning to trust and learning to be honest is a very important piece of the puzzle for a long distance relationship to achieve. Talk to each other if something bothers you and try to solve problems together so that they won’t get bigger. And also try not to do things that you already know they will cause problems. For example, if staying out all night with your girlfriends is something you know it makes him upset and insecure try not to do it often and think about how you would feel if he was spending nights out with his buddies while being on a different country far away.
6.Keep a positive attitude
Being in a long distance relationship is not easy as we’ve already mentioned. You will feel lonely, you will feel sad, you will feel insecure and uncertain and probably you may consider about ending this several times if the distance stays for too long. The key to stay strong and maintain the relationship is to have a positive view and always remind yourself why you are in this relationship and how you would feel if you weren’t. Be grateful you have someone you love and loves you back even if you can’t be together in real time at the moment and remember this won’t last forever but you will soon be close again. Send positive vibes and keep the relationship alive. Feelings won’t change just because of the distance neither will your personalities and the things you love to each other. Don’t forget that when all this is over and your relationship survives, your feelings will have grown stronger and you will be sure about your partner’s devotion.